Dear Love Vixen:
I’m frustrated, both mentally and physically. I’ve been crushing on this guy since I was a teenager. Back then we had a major roadblock, namely my father, who was also his coach. How Jack filled out that Speedo distracted me but back then dating was a no-no because his focus needed to be on winning the gold. But the Olympics are over and guess who show’s back in town looking for a job?
Of course I hire him. What was I thinking? I’m not sadist, but this is pure torture. To make it even worse, Jack knows damn well the effect he has on me. Again, the rules are clear, no fraternization between employees. I followed them once, and I lost him. If I break them now, I could lose my job. Of course spending hours daydreaming about running my hands over every inch of his gorgeous Olympic Gold body isn’t doing much for the quality of my work either.
Do I fire him or act on every one of the fantasies I’ve ever had about him? I’ve got to know, is this lust or love?
Oh sweetie, you had me at Speedo.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but work place romances rarely work. Those rules are there for a reason. Maybe you need to tighten up that resume. It sounds to me like you’ve been training for this chance for years. I’d say go for the gold.
Good luck, hon!
The ♥️ Vixen
**Disclaimer: The Love Vixen concept, letters, posts, and advice are works of fiction. The LV is not a licensed doctor or trained professional, or even a real person. The guidance she gives should probably not be followed because everything is made up by the authors.
Meet the Author!
Jeannette grew up in a large family, number ten out of eleven children, eight of them being older brothers. She quickly developed a great sense of humor, mostly from necessity. One of her greatest joys is sitting on the porch where they were all raised and hearing the stories from years gone by. Quietly laughing to herself, she notices how they embellish the stories more and more each year.
Lust or Love by Jeannette Winters
“What the hell was I thinking hiring Jack?” I can’t have that hunk of man meat working for me.
My best friend Allison chuckled and leaned back in the chair across from my desk. “Oh, sure you can. But you might need to keep your desk cleared off. Just in case.”
I rolled my eyes. “I am not having sex with Jack Payne on my desk, in the office, or anywhere else for that matter. He’s an employee. That is sexual harassment.”
“Only if he doesn’t want it. And please, look at you. You’re gorgeous. Men drool over you all the time. What makes you think Jack will be any different?”
I could come up with a million reasons, but the truth is, that was years ago. I couldn’t get enough of Jack. A simple teenage crush had developed into deeply lustful thoughts. I used to spend hours at the pool watching him train for the Olympics. His lean yet toned body seemed to glide through the water. But what I loved most was when he got out of the pool – the water dripping down his body, and damn, that speedo clinging to him didn’t hide a thing. It made me want…
“Deidre, you’re not even listening to me, are you?” Allison asked.
Blinking to focus, I tried to put this back on her. “I didn’t hear anything worth listening to.”
“Ouch. Nice way to talk to a friend who’s just trying to help you get laid.”
“Allison, enough already,” I snapped. “This isn’t a joke. I run a business. This is my livelihood at risk.” This conversation had nothing to do with how much sex I was having, or not. I knew Allison was only trying to help, but this was too much. “I’m sorry Allison. I’m under a lot of stress right now, and this is only adding to it.”
“Then why did you offer Jack a job?” she asked.
Shrugging, I said, “My dad asked me to. Jack’s healing from an injury and needs something to take his mind off swimming.”
“Please tell me you’re not putting him in direct sales.”
My mouth fell open. “I’m not crazy. He’ll be driving my truck and working the loading dock.” Dad knew I opened my own business. He still believed I sold healing lotions and oils. I’m not about to tell him otherwise.
“So what’s the problem? You probably won’t even see him much. And you said it was only temporarily.”
It didn’t matter if it was an hour or a second. Just hearing Jack’s voice again had made my blood run warm. I could only imagine what it would be like working in the same building.
I should’ve thought of this before hiring him.
“And you’re sure you don’t want to fill in for me tonight? I’m in no mood for going and pretending to be…cheery.” I had other consultants working beneath me, but they were all booked tonight.
“Heck, no. I know those ladies. I mean, personally. I mean, I’d love to earn the commission, but they’d tell my mother and I’ll never hear the end of it,” Allison sighed.
I giggled. “In other words, you don’t want me to tell you if your mother is one of the guests tonight.”
Allison covered her ears. “I swear, she’d better not be there.”
It was funny, because Allison had no issue bringing up dildos or sex in a group of people, even at the most inappropriate time. But when it came to her mother, Allison clammed right up.
“Fine. I’ll do it. But you know I have paperwork that needs processing. If I wanted to do it all myself, I wouldn’t have hired all you consultants,” I reminded her.
“What do you tell us all the time? Don’t ask someone to do something you’re not willing to do yourself,” Allison grinned. “Besides, it’ll give you something to think about besides that hottie that you hired.”
“Please do not refer to him as that,” I warned. “Remember, you work for me as well. I don’t want to deal with any…complaints.” At least no more than I already do.
Allison turned around and then faced me again. “Yup. The office door is closed, so we’re safe to discuss anything we want.”
“I was. I was discussing work,” I said firmly.
“Yeah, that’s nice. But I have one question for you.”
I was afraid to ask. “What is it?”
“Did you Google him? I mean, God, he’s ripped. He could be a bodybuilder.”
Looking her square in the eyes, I lied. “I don’t care what he looks like. I just need him to do a job and then go back to whatever it is he normally does.” I had been following his career for years. And when he was competing at the Olympics, I had been glued to the TV. Back then I’d thought Jack couldn’t get any sexier. But he’d proved me wrong. He was…model material. If I hired him in sales, he probably wouldn’t even have to open his mouth to outsell every other consultant.
“What is that grin for?” Allison asked.
Getting up I said, “Just thinking about what I’m going to tell your mother when I see her at the party tonight.”
Allison crossed her arms and huffed. “Probably the same thing your dad’s going to say when I tell him what you really sell.”
“I’m actually going to grab some of the new products to bring with me,” I stated.
Allison’s eyes widened and she smiled. “Wait. Do you mean the Ultimate Pleasure Wand came in already?” she asked.
“Only one as a demo. The rest is on backorder,” I said, knowing that Allison would be hounding me for some if I told her where the stash was.
She slumped back into the chair. “Don’t get a girl all excited and tell her she can’t get one for God knows how long.”
I shook my head and said, “Allison, I think you spend more than you make here.”
Holding her head up high and trying to look serious, Allison said, “For research purposes only. I mean, a good salesperson should be familiar with the product they’re selling!”
“TMI, Al,” I laughed. I grabbed my purse and headed out of my office, Allison following close behind. “Thanks for listening to me,” I said.
“That’s what friends are for. Besides, it’s nice to see you…uneasy for a change. You’re normally so in control. I think having Jack here, even for a short time, is going to spice up this place.”
I turned and shot her a warning look. “Allison, I want you to stay away from Jack.”
“Want him all for yourself?” she teased.
“No. I just don’t want any complications, personal or professional,” I stated firmly. It was the truth. No matter how much I had liked Jack when we were younger, and dreamed of us someday being together, the reality was, we weren’t meant to be. Not then, and not now. “Please promise me, you won’t play any of your…matchmaking games,” I begged.
Allison said, “No problem. But if it’s fate, you two won’t be able to stop it.”
My cell phone rang and I pulled it out of my purse. Please be Beatrice cancelling her party. I shouldn’t think like that, but tonight, I just wanted to go home and stop thinking. I had once thought Jack was the one. But he’d been so focused on training to win the gold that there was no room in his life for me. And now, I have no time for him.
I looked at the caller ID and it was my father. “Hello, Dad.”
“Hi Deidre. I’m just checking to see how you’re doing,” he asked.
I knew he really wanted to ask about Jack. I got it-Jack was the son he never had. The fact that he’d been Jack’s swim coach and prided himself on training Jack for the Olympics didn’t help any either.
“I’m good, Dad. Just getting ready to check on some inventory.”
“Won’t it be nice to have Jack around to help you with things like that?” he asked.
And there it was. Jack. Always Jack. It was hard growing up in the shadow of someone who wasn’t even family. And if it wasn’t for Dad being Jack’s coach, maybe we’d have ended up together like we used to talk about, when Jack was allowed some free time. Maybe this. Maybe that. None of it matters any more.
“Dad, I only hired him to drive the box truck and unload it. That’s all,” I said firmly. The last thing I needed was Jack interacting with the product. He wouldn’t judge me. Pick on me endlessly is more like it. I missed our playful, flirtatious, banter. But we were adults now. And I might sell adult toys, but I still took my business seriously. After all, it was what put food on my table and paid my rent.
“He starts tomorrow right?” he asked.
“Yes, he does. Why?” I made the mistake of inquiring.
“Why don’t you and Jack come for dinner? I’m sure he could use a nice home-cooked meal.”
“I’m working.” Didn’t need to check my schedule. Whatever day or time Dad suggested, I was going to be conveniently booked.
“You really should learn to slow down. Take some time for yourself. You’re working day and night.”
If it was my mother on the phone, she’d be nagging about marriage and grandchildren. At least with Dad, I knew he only wanted to see Jack.
“Why don’t you have Jack over, Dad? I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on,” I said, trying to keep bitterness from creeping into my voice.
“I’ll call him. But I’m sure he’d rather have you join us. He asked a lot about you.”
I had a hard time believing that. “That’s nice. I’m sure with him working here, he’ll have time to ask me himself.” That sounded a bit rude, but I didn’t appreciate anyone talking about me, good or bad. “Sorry Dad, but I have to go. Someone is waiting for me.”
“Okay, Deidre. I love you. Come by soon,” he said.
“I love you too, Dad. I’ll try.” As I ended the call, I felt like shit. He still had no clue what Jack had meant to me back then, and how, whether I liked it or not, it still hurt. Jack had been my first crush and under different circumstances, might have become my first love.
I had totally forgotten that Allison was still standing there until she said, “Bet you’re glad you’re working Beatrice’s party now.”
I looked at her and nodded. “More than you know. Now either go find something to do or I’m putting you to work.”
Allison chuckled. “I’m out!” As she headed down the hall she said, “I’ll call you tomorrow to see how your first meeting with Jack went. And don’t do anything you normally would do. Have some fun for once.”
I rolled my eyes. If hiring Jack wasn’t bad enough, my best friend would surely make it impossible to be around him. I wish everyone could just treat him like any other employee. I had no idea why every conversation had to revolve around him. But really, why shouldn’t it? It always had before. It had been wishful thinking that ten years would’ve changed anything.
As I loaded my van with everything I needed for the demonstration at Beatrice’s house, my cell phone rang again. If it’s Dad again, I’m going to change my number. He had called three times today. You’d think this was Jack’s first job the way Dad was so anxious about it. Not sure you worry this much about me.
I opted to let it go to voicemail. I wasn’t worried. I’m sure he’d be calling me first thing tomorrow morning. Right now, I needed to get my game face on.
Pulling into Beatrice’s driveway I noticed the lack of other vehicles. Not too concerning, since I like to arrive early and set up before the guests arrive. In early and out first, leaving the women to party the rest of the night.
I parked my van, and loaded all my boxes on the dolly to wheel them to the house. Before I even got to the door, the neighbor rushed over, shouting, “She’s not there. They’re at the hospital.”
My heart skipped a beat. Beatrice wasn’t old, but she’d reached an age where health issues were creeping in. “What happened?” I asked, holding my breath in fear of dire news.
“I’m not sure. I heard her husband say something about a swing breaking. I can see their backyard from my deck and they don’t have a swing,” she stated.
They did, but not one you’d use where others could see. I bit back the chuckle that threatened to escape my lips. I could only imagine the look on the emergency room staff’s faces when they had to write “sustained injuries on a sex swing” on the forms.
I smiled at the neighbor and said, “Thank you for letting me know.”
Once I had the van packed up again, I grabbed my purse and threw it on the front seat and headed back to the office. I had the free night I’d been hoping for after all.
I got what I asked for, just not exactly what I wanted.
If I thought Allison could keep her mouth shut, I could give her a call and we could laugh about this over drinks tonight. Instead, it looked like my usual – another night home alone, watching some home remodeling show.
Guess everything in my life right now is “do it yourself.”
I sighed as I pulled out the Magic Wand, edible panties, and nipple clips from my purse and placed them into the glove box. I didn’t need to be carrying them around when I stopped to pick up a pizza on my way home.